constantly struggling

look at you

you get everything you want

and hardly even work for it

you have all of the “things” i want

and all the girls

i don’t want the girls

i don’t need girls

i can’t handle relationships

i don’t want relationships

i will fuck it up

look at me

i work so hard

and i don’t get anything

i’m told i get “a lot of girls”

but i’d rather have true friends

but i can’t have friends

even you, it’s too much to handle

some of this might come as a blow to you

but i swear to you it’s all true

that this is how i feel

and poetry is how i deal with it

maybe you wouldn’t even

consider this as poetry

as words thrown up

from my mouth

and land all scrambled and distorted

but it’s beautiful to me

EVEN IN IT’S MOST UGLY STAGES

so take this as you will

but my name is poet

and im dreadful

but recovering

im disgusting….. but im trying.

so don’t think you’re the only one with secrets

don’t think you’re the only one who keeps it

because i struggle every damn day.

and everyday i say, “i’m okay(?)”

i say it to assure those around me

so that they can see

that im happy

and i’m trying

will you struggle with me?