dead

if i take the time to look

and believe me i do

i can see myself

and i hate the reflection in the mirror

i shiver in hate towards the person i see

i shiver in hate towards me.

i’ve lost control

and i can’t find it

its hiding from me

why doesn’t it want me?

i want control over my life again

i want to go back to a time when

i was young and free, from me.

i’m dying, i’m lying

but im sick of trying

when did i get to this point?

when did i become this monster?

God i miss you

i can’t find you

i’m beyond scared

i’m beyond dead in my mind

no, i lied.

im alive

i never stop thinking

i overthink everything

and its killing me.

but the man in the mirror

he hates me too.

he hates who

i’ve become

but he won’t let me change

he’s holding me down

like im 6 feet in the ground

dead.